Reference conversations help you understand how a candidate worked in a real family setting. They are most useful when you verify the relationship, ask the same core questions, and compare the answers with the profile and interviews.
Ask the candidate for permission and context
Tell the candidate before contacting references. Request two or three recent work references when possible and ask for the reference’s name, role, contact information, dates of work, children’s ages at the time, and the duties performed. Explain that you may verify these details.
A reference from a former employing family usually carries more weight than a friend or relative. A teacher, supervisor, or colleague may still add useful information for someone entering child care, but the relationship should be identified accurately.
Verify who you are speaking with
Start the call by introducing yourself and confirming that it is a convenient time. Ask how the person knows the candidate, when the work took place, and whether they directly observed the candidate providing care.
Do not reveal sensitive information from the candidate’s application. The reference should be able to describe the relationship independently.
Use child-care-specific questions
Ask a consistent set of questions and follow up on concrete examples:
- What were the children’s ages, and what was the regular schedule?
- Which duties did the candidate handle without supervision?
- How did they manage meals, naps, school runs, activities, or sibling conflict?
- How reliable and punctual were they?
- How did they communicate routine updates and difficult news?
- Did they follow household rules and safety instructions?
- How did the children respond to them over time?
- What support or direction helped them do their best work?
- Why did the position end?
- Would you hire them again for a similar role?
Avoid questions about protected or irrelevant personal characteristics. Keep the conversation focused on observed work and the requirements of your position.
Listen for substance, not perfect praise
A credible reference can usually describe daily routines, strengths, and areas where the candidate needed guidance. Brief or cautious answers are not automatically negative; some former employers limit what they disclose. Ask whether they can confirm facts even if they cannot provide an evaluation.
Pay attention when duties, dates, children’s ages, or reason for leaving differ significantly from the candidate’s account. One discrepancy may have an innocent explanation. Several unexplained inconsistencies require a direct follow-up with the candidate.
Document the call fairly
Use the same note template for each reference. Record the date, the person contacted, verified facts, examples, and questions to clarify. Separate what the reference actually said from your interpretation.
Store notes securely and do not share them casually. Reference information is part of a hiring decision and may contain personal information about the candidate and another family.
Red flags that justify more verification
Slow down if a reference cannot explain how they know the candidate, contact details appear to belong to the candidate, the person repeats profile wording without any examples, or basic facts change substantially between calls. Do not accuse anyone on the basis of a feeling; ask for another reference or supporting context.
Put references in the larger screening picture
References are one source of evidence. Combine them with the profile, screening call, interview, identity and credential verification where appropriate, and your observations during a paid trial. A positive reference does not guarantee future performance, and a police record check does not measure caregiving skill.
After the calls, discuss any material inconsistency with the candidate and give them a chance to explain. Then decide whether the evidence supports moving to an in-person nanny interview.